I Found It
I kept trying to get this through to a certain person who shall remain nameless, but it never did get through. And then I faltered, too. But I’m getting back to being me again, and am now at the point of dealing with this area which I had lost ground in while in a bad relationship. Of course the person I shared it with would have said it existed before, but what was seen was actually my frustration rooted in my inability to communicate effectively, more specifically the messes which were the result of that poor communication.
But this thing I have believed since I was young, it now finally has words. And maybe wherever I learned it from, maybe they learned it from Chuck. I don’t know, I just know that it is true. Here it is:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes,than what other people think of, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
Various people have told me how much happier I am now. And I’ve asked what that means, what they are seeing in me that’s different, etc. I am simply happy and I wasn’t before. And it’s obvious to them. I’m much more relaxed. Funny, the things we can do and enjoy when we let go of strife and anxiety. But yet here is another layer that while others don’t usually see it, it does impact things I do. The affect my perspective has on the world around me, and what is returned to me. Both directly and indirectly. So I am glad for the reminder. Though it had already been on my mind somewhat, it’s great to finally have the words for it, and a little direction for it. It’s one more step to being me again.
I seem to recall Charles Swindoll being a religious fanatic (as opposed to just a guy who believes in God and lives by that faith), but in the interests of not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, I have to completely agree with him here. I hear he’s got a book out dealing with this issue. I hope to find it and read it. The sooner the better because negativity is just so self-destructive and toxic. And I don’t want anything holding me back. Especially nothing so vile.
Of course ‘they’ used to say that I was supremely negative and would fit in an “I told you so” right about now, but some people aren’t as smart as they think they are. Again, what was seen was the result of something else entirely. But isn’t it funny that it’s that exact person who was down on me the most, degrading me about most everything, and blowing up over the littlest things, who was demeaning me and devaluing me even from the beginning (saying I was just a VW while he was a Porshe! WTF??? Yeah, that’s really loving and manly!), etc etc. And then they get on YOU for being ‘negative’. HA! LOL. But anyway, I only mention it because I know this will probably be read by that person and want to cover the bases should they find their heads inflating with self-righteousness. They still ask me why it is that I am always focused on their response to something I do “wrong” to them, instead of focusing on what I did wrong. I’ve tried explaining it, because the fact of the matter is- this is a principle and something that is bigger and more far-reaching than every little thing I do to piss them off. Not to mention that this is something I see throughout all areas of their life. Maybe with this quote God will open their eyes to finally ‘get’ it. But bygones being bygones and all, I’m just glad to have these words to finally communicate what it is that I have believed for a long time. To be able to express them to others who want to hear, and more importantly- to hold onto myself.
Shabbat Shalom.