Not a typical kind of post for me, but I just learned about this place and it’s just too cool. The pictures they’ve taken are… stunning.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a non-profit that offers professional photography to parents who are losing their baby. Completely free. All I can say is "wow".

Infant Bereavement Photography

So if Nancy Grace was induced… then that means they didn’t just skip right ahead to scheduling a c-section like usually happens with twins? Really???

I would guess both pessimistically and statistically that she ended up with a c-section regardless, but dang. They were actually gonna try her vaginally? That’s pretty cool. Now to just figure out if it’s true!

Need I say more?

Like, really vomit?

Read all the way through, and pay particular attention to #2.

And then it gets better if you keep reading. I’m physically neauseous. So much so that someone just walked past and asked me if I was okay lol.

BLECH! Where’s my bucket?

Let’s see how quick I can make this…

The baby’s gone. Bright red bleeding started at a regular flow on Sunday night. I wept for a half hour or more and finally fell asleep. More bleeding, cramps and lots of blood, baby passed at 8:10 I think. Maybe 7:10. Will have to check phone records and confirm. I hemorrhaged a bit but nothing a little iron didn’t take care of. An overnight pad every half hour for a few hours, then it was abruptly over. Not much cause for concern because I’m a bleeder anyway. We were careful and watchful and no medical intervention was necessary (and we mostly knew it wouldn’t be, but we weren’t wreckless either). As for the baby itself… can’t throw it away… can’t flush it… what in the world do you do with your dead baby?? Can’t plant it, can’t take it into the docs for testing for reasons too long for this post, so when I had to do something with it on my way to bed, it got put into a sealed bowl which was put way back in my fridge. Which, I know, sounds pretty… not right. Unbalanced, maybe. See, there’s not even a word for it. But seriously- what in the world do you do with your dead child, who wasn’t far enough along for a ‘proper’ burial or death certificate. Either way, the baby’s gone. I had gone shopping to get excited about it and promptly returned everything the next day. I didn’t want that hanging over my head too. I did hang on to 3 items which were really nice and I had gotten on a great sale… just in case. But they’re bagged, receipted, in the van, and pretty ignorable (not in the way) so not weighing on me.

My daycare mom had her baby the next day. So I’ve got a lot of days off now since the other mom is also on Maternity leave for who-knows-how-long and my only other kid only comes on Mondays and Tuesdays. I’ve got Wed-Fri free for at least a couple weeks now!! Yay! Going to the hospital and seeing the baby was alright. She was all alone by the time we got there and I feared she’d get lonely so we stayed for well over an hour, until closing time. The kids were amusing her so I don’t think (hopefully) we overstayed our welcome. Baby was cute.

My PDA- it works again!!! Woo-hoo!! You seriously don’t know how happy that makes me.

I’ve lost 2 more pounds in the past couple days. So I’m back down to what I was a couple weeks ago when I got all stressed and did my normal binging-and-gorging thing and ended up gaining back 4 of the 8 I had lost a few weeks prior. Ahh, I love food. Except I haven’t eaten any since 48 hours ago when a friend brought a Meatball Sub from Subway. Mmmm… Footlong on white with provalone, parmesan and oregano. Well, yesterday I had a Mountain Dew, candy bar (Peanut Butter Twix… MMMM), and some Gardettos (original mix… MMMM). That counts for food, right? I call it the candy diet. Apparently it’s working well! LOL Thank God for really great vitamins, eh? So lets see… 2 down, just 35 more to go! *sigh* Started back on the TrimSpa today. That’s some pretty cool stuff. Except it may have caused the miscarriage, but that’s a whole lot of speculation and probably unlikely anyway. Besides, we’ll never know and I’m not pregnant anymore anyway. So Viva la Skinny! I was in a decent amount of discomfort what with my uterus stretching out and whatnot, and I didn’t want to aggrevate it more so stopped working out. Though I had barely started, I was doing better with it than I ever have, so hopefully I’ll be able to pick back up with it right where I left off. It wouldn’t bother me to hang on to up to 10 pounds if it’s muscle. But all this fat has got to go. It even feels gross.

I went to my first Chamber of Commerce meeting this week. It was pretty cool. Not much time for networking as it was an official event with a presentation and everything, but it was good to meet the couple people I did. And the sitting President strongly indicated they’re going to be needing a new web designer to manage the site, which they’re paying to have done. What great timing! Crossing my fingers there.

I got a call today, and found out that my business got its first call at the office! Woo-hoo!!! It must be listed somewhere already because it was a marketer lol. But who cares?!? I got my first business call!! lol

I also sent my text in for the Yellow Pages ad. I’m so excited. It’ll come out in December.

The biggest thing for me to deal with now is getting the voice mail at the office to say my web design company’s business name instead of the name of DH’s old business that I’m adopting the number from! He said he got some equipment in today that may or may not take care of the problem he was having in getting the voice mail able to be changed. He’ll work on it this weekend. If it doesn’t, then I’ll just get an ‘old-fasioned’, mechanical (GASP!), answering machine to intercept the line before the current voice mail grabs it. :D

That might be about it. Oh- the drawer on my desk fell off! It had been loose, and then I was trying to pull it out and down it came! I’m pretty glad, though, because where my knees kept hitting it before (see, it’s not always sexy to have long legs), even with the keyboard tray pulled all the way out, now they’ve got some breathing room!

My room is still a mess. 4 huge piles of paper, and that doesn’t even count the scatterings across my desk which prevent me from seeing it on any of the 3 levels it has. Eek. I’m really hoping we can get that file cabinet from the garage into this here bedroom because I need it! Stuff is getting lost!

So anyway, I should probably go bathe myself at some point today. And then I have to pick up the Challah for church tomorrow. Hmm, I wonder if it’s my turn for kids’ snacks again. I should probably check on that. Shabbat Shalom, y’all.